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Grandparent Support tea and cake July 14

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After ten years of war, peace breaks out

Parents, If you ever needed a reason to sort things out amicably between your selves, then reading this should do it! and that is after it has been cut and pasted and paraphrased endlessly I suspect!

suesspiciousminds

The High Court decision in Re J and K (Children : Private Law) 2014

http://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWHC/Fam/2014/330.html

Another judgment from Pauffley J – not remarkable on the facts, nor indeed on the law, and I suspect it is one that might not have been published were it not for the transparency guidance. But it is another good judgment, and remarkable in that a set of private law litigation, which began in 2003 and involved 24 court hearings finally ended with agreement.

This opening is worth reading, for a start

This private law dispute demonstrates a number of phenomena. Firstly, that it is sometimes possible to achieve real and substantial progress as the result of the hearing itself. Secondly, that there can be incalculable benefits from the simple exercise of parents giving evidence and, just as importantly, listening to the evidence of others. Thirdly, that proceedings which begin in an atmosphere of adversity…

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News of the Tea & Cake Event

It will soon be here, are you coming?

Grandparent Support

AN OPEN INVITATION TO TEA AND CAKE

tea & cake

WITH GRANDPARENT SUPPORT

WWW.Grandparentsupport.org

 

Are you a Grandparent that has been denied Contact?

Are you a Grandparent carer?

 

Come along and have a chat, a cuppa and cake.

AT WHITEMOSS YOUTH AND COMMUNITY CENTRE

SOUTHDOWN CRESCENT MANCHESTER M9 7DG (off Charlestown road Blackley)

Thursday 20th February 2014

Between 10:00am-12:00 noon.

We want to hear from you

 

FOR MORE DETAILS CONTACT GERALDINE by Email

grandparentsupport@hotmail.com 

Tune in to the radio show Nana’s Natter on North Manchester FM 106.6 Every Monday teatime between 4-5 pm

http://whitemossyouth.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/nanasnatter

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Dear Edwina, Thankyou for last night. I hope it was as good for you as it was for me. #bigbenefitsrow

An oustanding young woman of courage, tenacity and truth! Which is more than can be said for the harridans she faced on a live television debate!

Jack Monroe

Dear Edwina;
It’s 9 o clock on Tuesday, the morning after the night before, where we were both on a panel on The Big Benefits Row on Channel 5. I haven’t watched it back, I was there, and know what I look like when I’m angry.
I need to get this out – because it’s everything I wanted to say last night but couldn’t, as I kept being rudely shouted over by you. Honestly, my three year old behaves better than that. At least he knows that when Mummy does her ‘will you just be QUIET and LISTEN to me’ then the best thing to do is to stop running your mouth and let Mummy say her piece.
But you didn’t. Because you were terrified of what I had to say.
I wanted to say, when asked by Matthew Wright, that poverty is almost indescribable to someone as blinkered as…

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T.V. to watch tonight- BBC One U.K. Panorama

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03q9n7f

Follow the link and read on,

My guess is that this programme will only barely scratch the surface of the Family court situation!

If your family is affected by contact issues it is a must see!

A Crying Shame

“Do you know, Inspector, of all the emotions which is the most insidious and entrapping? Shame. It carves its home in the marrow of your bones and rests there for all time.”

Richard Warlow – Writer and creator of the BBC One drama – Ripper Street.

In my research there has been a recurring theme that many try not to mention, or even identify and that is shame, the shame and embarrassment of having a problem within the family, more often than not stops many people from asking for help- that they are somehow flawed as a human being, or that they somehow are responsible for the situation they now find themselves in.

We are all human beings and therefore by default we have  flaws, cracks in our make-up we occasionally mess up and we need help or in the case of Grandparents the actions or perhaps  circumstances, tragic and otherwise of our kids has led us to becoming a carer for our grandchildren or a grandparent with little or no contact.

Equally it could be an innate stubbornness or an unyielding will that the parent finds repugnant in the Grandparent, I refer you at this point to Phillip Larkin’s famous poem – This Be the Verse.

There is no shame in asking for help and support, there is no shame in highlighting a growing problem in our society.

The shame lies with society for not correctly identifying and addressing the problem, but it is changing slowly, we have apparently come a long way from the Charles Dickens version of the Victorian era, but have we?

Today, the statistics will tell you there are up to 300,000 Grandparent carers, and close to a million non-contact Grandparents, these figures are staggering, but more than anything they highlight the changing face of family life in the 21st century.

2014 will be the 6th Anniversary of when we first went to court to maintain contact with our Grandchild, it has not been an easy six years, there has been a lot of pain and heartache all round, not to mention a great financial strain, in the last two years I ended up representing myself, I was advised nay told to give up on many occasions, (not least of all for my own health and well-being) but because of the nature of the parental split I refused to.

The reason I refused was simple, I had a relationship with my Granddaughter one where I had promised that as long as I lived I would be there for her.

I have learnt a lot along this bumpy road I don’t think I will ever stop learning and growing as a human, and I hope by reading this it will give you pause for thought, particularly if you are a non-contact Grandparent. It is your duty as an elder (not a better) to ease the pain of the children both yours and theirs, you cannot do this if you sit back and hope for the best, but by being there in whatever way it takes, including self-sacrifice, never stop communicating with both parents, by playing a neutral role you can act as peacemaker or pathfinder.

Put aside your own needs and wants, think of the child and ask what are his/her wishes and feelings, I say this not only to Grandparents but to parents too, do not poison a young mind with your bitterness of emotional turmoil, instead seek reconciliation, respect one another for the child’s sake and seek a way to move forward, there is no shame in that!

This Christmas Eve (2013) we enjoyed having a family get-together with our beautiful Grandchild it was the best ever Christmas present!

IMG_5790

 

Poem:   http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/178055

Rememberance Day

Wreaths of artificial poppies used as a symbol...

FLANDERS FIELD.

© Pamela Jones 8/11/2013

 There’s a far off field in Flanders

Where thousands gave their lives

To give us all our freedom

So we could live a life.

It was all muck and bullets

that they did live or die

It was not for fame or glory

Although you’d hear that cry

Captain shouts ” up and over boys our duty must be done!”

So up and over they did go

that’s how the war was won

So wear your poppy proudly

to show them that you care

That they died for something wonderful

And did not die in vain

It does not take an awful lot

So pin one to your coat

The poppy’s red to symbolize

The giving of their blood

They died for us like Jesus did

To make the world feel good.