Call your parents, call your children, practise forgiveness & move forward.

Alienation is in the news more and more, parental alienation and now even grandparent alienation, something few had heard of is now being recognised.

J.K. Simmons a man of honour who recognises the need to salute family

Separating the parent from the teacher,

Some teachers are parents and some parents are teachers

Some are neither.

Being a parent can be tough, it can be amazingly rewarding too,

Not everyone is cut out to be a parent

The same can be said of teachers too.

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Understanding alienation and the wider dynamics of adult psychology.

Good Morning all, I do a lot of research in ‘my work’ which involves reading endlessly and trawling the web for good information, and sometimes I hit upon a golden nugget!
This is such a nugget, in a nutshell it covers what I have spent a lifetime learning through self-development- I urge you to watch and share with all your family and friends #‎notjustforgrandparents

Too long for you? consider this:

Before you spend valuable time watching your favourite film or TV programme, give yourself the New Year Gift of understanding yourself and your families dynamic psychology.

There is no leading authority on the issue of grandparent alienation or parental alienation, but you’ll have to do a lot of surfing of the net to beat these guys:

http://www.aga-fl.org/

#notjustforgrandparents

 

 

Grandparents and parents are unforgettable

As I listen to Nat King Cole and his immortal words in the song ‘unforgettable’ I am reminded of why I started Grandparent Support, although the song was originally written as a love song for probably between two adults, I remember thinking on one of those unhappy Christmases in the not too distant past, when I was denied contact with my beautiful granddaughter, that I would not give up nor forget her, and in my heart I knew because of our bond that she would not forget me either.

When Natalie Cole released the virtual duet with her father in 1991 (who had died in 1965) it became my #1 Favourite and a testament to the power of love and music.

The song kept a light within in me, a small flickering light that was to burn like a flame and become my strength, it made me think of other songs too, songs that my granddaughter and I had enjoyed listening to together, one of her favourites that I had introduced her to is A windmill in old Amsterdam.

She still asks for this whenever I pick her up in the car, and we never fail to chuckle away with the mice at the end.

We have come to love other tunes together, you see that flame turned into a roaring fire that blazed through several courts and many negotiations and reconciliations, we have a working contact order that has been successfully in place now for over 18 months and with an open heart and an ever listening ear forcommunication and understanding it is set to continue.

My wish for all who are separated from their loved ones through family conflict this season is to have an open heart and an open mind and try again with the lines of communication, in whatever form that helps you as a family.

If you would like a dedication played on our radio show do please get in contact.

Summer Holiday Play-scheme List Manchester 2014

If your Looking for places for the Grandchildren then look no further…………………………………….

The following is a list of open access playschemes that will be operating during the Summer holidays.

Open access schemes are generally free of charge, however some may ask for a small donation. Parents/Carers need to go with their child on the first day to complete a registration form, places can not be pre-booked and places are offered daily on a first come first served basis.

If your child has additional needs please discuss with the individual playscheme how they can best support your child.

North Manchester 

Big Life Centre
Venue
: Cheetwood Centre, Brackenhurst Drive , M7 4YG

Contact: Sian Sweeney 0161 792 5203

Dates: 4th August-30th August

Times: 1-4pm

Age range:  6 – 14 yrs

 

Kutchi Sunni Muslim Association
Venue
: Dada Hall, 20 Brideoak St, Cheetham Hill, M8 0PN
Contact: Nazma Mitha  0161 203 4631

Dates: 4th August- 22nd  August

Times: 9.00am – 1.00pm  /  1.30pm–3.30pm

Age range:  6 – 14 yrs

 

Grumpy- ‘Everyone can play’
Venue
: Whitemoss Youth and Community Centre
Contact: Ruth Northall 0161 737 1644

Dates: 4th, 5th, 6th, 8th, 11th, 12th, 13th and 15th August

Times: 1.00pm -4.00pm

Age range : 6 – 14 yrs

 

Higher Blackley Youth Centre
Venue
: Higher Blackley Youth Centre, Victoria Avenue, M9 0RA
Contact: Elaine Young 0161 437 5923

Dates: 11th August- 29th August / 1.00pm- 4.00pm

Times: 2-5 pm

Age range:  6 – 14 yrs

 

Turkey Lane & Monsall
Venue
: TLM Centre, Jocelyn Street, Monsall, M40 8PR
Contact: Rose McCarton  0161 205 8608

Dates: 29th July- 15th August

Times: 10.00am – 12.30pm / 1.30pm – 4pm

Age range:  6 – 12 yrs 

 

East Manchester 

 

Beswick 4 CT
Venue
: The Grange, Pilgrim Drive, Beswick, M11 3TQ
Contact: Kay Gallagher  0161 230 1420

Dates: 4th August – 22nd August

Times: 10.00 am – 12.30pm / 1pm – 3.30pm

Age range:  8 – 12 yrs

 

Grumpy- ‘Everyone can play’
Venue
: St George’s Youth & Community Centre, Livesy St, Collyhurst, M40 7NX
Contact: Ruth Northall 0161 737 1644

Dates 28th, 29th, 30th, 31st July / 1st 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th August

Times: 1-3pm

Age range : 6 – 14 yrs 

 

Openshaw 4 CT
Venue
: Sporting Edge Community Centre, Openshaw, M11 1FG
Contact: Kay Gallagher  0161 230 1420

Dates:4th August- 22nd August

Times: 10.00 am – 12.30pm / 1pm – 3.30pm

Age range:  8 – 12 yrs

 

Stirling Community Centre
Venue
: Stirling Community Centre, Scotland Hall Road, Newton Heath, M60 6RA
Contact: Elaine Young  0161 437 5923

Dates: 21st July- 8th August

Times: 2.00pm – 5.00pm

Age range:  6 – 14 yrs 

Central Manchester 

3A’s Parent Group

Venue: Claremont Resource Centre, Rolls Crescent, Hulme M15 5FS
Contact: Jackie Burton

Dates: 28th July  –15 th August

Times: 9.30-12.30pm

Age range : 6 – 14 yrs

 

A6 Young People’s Centre (Formerly Longsight Adventure Playground)
Venue
: Wilson Street, Ardwick, M13 9EX
Contact: Elaine Young  0161 437 5923

Dates: 21st July  – 29th August

Times: 2-5pm

Age range : 6 – 14 yrs

 

Aquarius
Venue
: Aquarius Community Centre, 21 Eden Close, Hulme, M15 6AX
Contact: Heather Grant  0161 226 8254

Dates:21st July- 29th August

Times: 10.30am-1.00pm  / 2pm – 4.30pm

Age range:  6 – 14 yrs 

 

Anson Cabin Project
Venue
: Anson Cabin, 38 Meldon Road, Longsight, M13 0TR
Contact: Julie Scott  0161 248 5695

Dates: 21st July – 8th August

Times: 9.30am – 12pm / 1pm – 3.30pm

Age range: 5 – 13 yrs 

 

BAGS + B playscheme
Venue
: Church of Christ Hall, Beresford Road, Longsight M13 0TB
Contact: Farrah Aftab  07581318090

Dates: 4th August -22nd August

Times: 9.00am- 12.00 pm / 1.00pm- 3.00 pm

Age Range:  6 – 14 yrs 

 

Deaf Community Playscheme
Venue
: Manchester Deaf Centre, Crawford House, Booth St East, M13 9GH
Contact: Gemma Ryles 0161 273 3415

Dates: 22nd  July – 8th August

Times: 10.00 am – 3.00pm

Age range:  8- 16 yrs 

 

Moss Side Adventure
Venue:
Whitnall St, Moss Side, M16 7JD
Contact: Lee Ann Igbon  0161 226 3311

Dates 21st  – 8th August

Times: 12-3pm

Age range : 6 – 14 yrs

 

Moss Side Power House
Venue
: The Powerhouse, Raby St, Moss Side, M14 4SL

Contact: Lydia Anthony 0161 225 1064

Dates: 11th– 29th August

Times:10.00am-12.30pm / 1.00pm- 3.30pm

Age range:  6-11 yrs

 

Moss Side and Hulme Roller Sports

Venue: Work for change building, 41 Old Birley St , M15 5RF

Contact: Elvereen Fletchman 0161 868 0513

Dates: 21st July- 29th August

Times: 1.00pm- 4.00pm

Age range:  6-14 yrs

 

Proctors Youth Centre (Manchester Young Lives)
Venue
: Jackson Crescent, Hulme, M15 5AL
Contact: Lee Ann Igbon  0161 437 5923
Dates: 4th August  – 22nd  August

Times:  12-3pm

Age range : 6 – 14 yrs

 

Slade Lane Playscheme
Venue
: Slade Lane Neighbourhood Centre, Stockport Rd, Longsight, M13 0RZ
Contact: Pat Coleman  0161 224 1451

Dates: 21st July- 8th August

Times: 9.30am – 12pm / 1pm – 3.30pm

Age range: 6 – 13 yrs

 

Trinity House

Venue: Trinity House, Grove Close, Rusholme, M14 5AA
Contact: Lydia Anthony  0161 225 1064

Dates: 21st July- 8th   August

Times:10.00am–12.30pm /1.00pm  – 3.30 pm

Age range: 6 – 11 yrs 

South

Aim 2 Inspire
Venue
: Westcroft Centre, Westcroft Avenue, Burnage, M20 6EF
Contact: Dawne Bowes  07951727830

Dates: 28th July-22nd  August  (Not Wednesdays)

Times: 10.00am- 12.30 pm / 1.30pm- 3.30pm

Age Range:  7- 14 yrs

 

Barlow Moor Playscheme
Venue
: Barlow Moor Community Centre, 23 Merseybank Ave, Chorlton, M21 7NT
Contact: Lucy Ingham  0161 446 4805

Dates: 21st July- 1st August

Times: 9.15am- 12.15 am / 1.00pm- 4.00 pm

Age Range:  5 – 9 years / 9 – 14 years

 

Chorlton Youth Project

Venue: Chorlton Central Church, Barlow Moor Rd, Chorlton, M21 8BF

Contact: Irvine Williams 0161 446 4805

Dates: 28th July-15th August

Times: / 10.00am -12.30pm  / 1.15pm-3.30pm

Age Range: 6-12 yrs

 

Community on solid ground

Venue: Manley Park Play Centre, York Avenue, Whalley Range, M16 0AS

Contact: Majid Dar 07966882856

Dates: 30th July-21st  August

Times: 11.00am -1.30pm

Age range:  6-14 yrs 

 

JNR8

Venue: JNR8 Youth and Community Centre, 82 Cromwell Avenue, Whalley Range, M16 0BG

Contact: Alison Chisholm 0161 881 3744

Dates: 21st July-8th August

Times: 2.30pm – 5.00pm

Age range:  6-14 yrs

 

Old Moat Playscheme
Venue
: Old Moat Primary School, Old Moat Lane, Withington, M20 3FN
Contact: Paula O’Reilly  07977516998

Dates: 21st July- 29th August

Times: 1.30pm – 4.00pm

Age Range: 6- 11 yrs

 

Ladybarn Community Centre
Venue
: Ladybarn Community Centre, Royle St, Fallowfield
Contact: Kirsty Henderson / Gary Levesconte  0161 225 2093

Dates: 28th July- 15th August

Times: 9.00am – 12pm / 1.00pm – 4pm

Age range: 6 – 11 yrs

 

Wythenshawe

 

Benchill Community Playscheme
Venue
: Benchill Community Centre, Benchill Rd,  Wythenshawe, M22 8EJ
Contact: Brenda Grixti  0161 945 0879

Dates: 21st July-8th  August

Times: 9.30am –12.30pm / 1.00pm– 4.00pm 

Age range:  6- 14 yrs

 

Royal Oak
Venue
: Royal Oak Community Centre, Brookcott Rd, Baguley, M23 1DU
Contact: Gina Hall 0161 998 2146
Dates: 28th July – 29th August

Times: Monday and Thursdays 9.30-12.30 / 1-4 pm

Age range: 6 – 14 yrs

 

The Addy Young Peoples Centre
Venue
: The Addy Young Peoples’ Centre, Woodhouse Lane, Wythenshawe,

M22 9TF
Contact: Elaine Vickers  0161 437 8950

Dates: 21st July  – 29th  August

Times:12-3pm

Age range : 6 – 14 yrs

 

Wythenshawe Community Initiative
Venue
: Woodhouse Park Family Centre, Stoneacre Rd, Wythenshawe, M22 5TB
Contact: Clare North  0161 498 0292

Dates: 23rd July-22nd August

Times: 10.00am – 12.30pm / 12.30pm- 3.00pm  (Wednesday, Thursday, Friday)

Age range: 5 – 13 yrs

 

Wythenshawe Community Initiative @ Milky Button Park
Venue
: Milky Button Park, Greenbrow Road, Baguley, M23 2ET
Contact: Clare North 0161 498 0292

Dates: 21st July-19th  August

Times: 10.00 –12.30pm / 12.30pm– 3.00pm (Monday and Tuesday only)

Age range:  6- 13 yrs

A documentary by Grandparents plus

This documentary by Grandparents plus is a must watch for anyone who cares about grandparents and the very vital role that they play in today’s society.

 

I Have A Voice!

I HAVE A VOICE! It may not be the beautiful shrill of the mocking bird! But I have a voice!

My voice may not have the eloquent words of Emily Dickenson, Maya Angelou, Helen Keller or even Esther Rantzen, nor the wit of Charles dickens and the glorious Paul O’Grady, not to mention the dulcet tones of Terry Wogan or the ever sexy Barry White, but I have a voice!

After eleven years of anguish I am now reassured that my granddaughter will have one too!

Yesterday will go down as a triumph, but today will go down as a victory! A victory for Justice, yes, but not without collateral damage too.

Yesterday SM…C. sent me a txt with GD…K’s mobile phone number, wow, my granddaughter now has her own phone! Her own direct line to Nana G and her family!

Being ever mindful and respectful of K’s SM…C and BF…B I consulted them as to what rules they had imposed, dutifully notified and agreed, we proceeded with our direct electronic contact, and I knew that this time it was going to be different, more than any other contact, somehow strangely it would be more natural, and it was.

We texted and sent recorded messages over an hour and a half period of time, it was natural and wonderful and it made me so happy!

Maybe it was the unscheduled surprise of it all, but no, today I was reminded what a truly unique step forward it was when my daughter : my granddaughter’s aunt, having been forwarded the number (with permissions) and having spent an equally exciting time electronically, commented after I said – it was amazing,

“I know, well done Mum it’s all down to you xxx”

That comment then, was the victory.

Not for my part in the proceedings, but that now my granddaughter would, after that vital independent connection, forever know her family!

I of course replied to my daughter “Shush! Or I’ll cry!”

Grandparents have a huge responsibility as the elders in the family, to keep things moving forward and the lines of communication open!

#contemporarygrandparenting

Abbreviations – SM…C = Step-Mother, BF…B = Biological Father, GD…K = Granddaughter,

Nana G = Me.

You don’t have to live under the same roof to make the family whole again.

According to my family and friends my first husband and I were a rarity, we remained friends and as part of each others families, long after we broke up and remained so  until his death in 2005. To this day we are still in contact with his family.

When my first husband and I decided to separate in 1992 we decided between ourselves to co-parent, we did not need a court order, we never did, in fact we never went near a court until we decided to dissolve the marriage officially 10 years later and then it was just a matter of sorting out the paperwork!

Ironic then that I should spend the last six years in and out of court fighting to see my granddaughter, which is now resolved thanks to some common sense and the ability to communicate, rather than lining the legal professions pockets, although for the first three years they did earn silk-lined pockets, but once I got the hang of things, and although not legally trained, I did do a lot of research and reading, I then represented myself, with much legal consternation from my paid advisers!

Having witnessed the court battles between my grandchild’s parents first hand, it astounded me the levels each of them would go to, in order to gain residency, it was all-out war, the child was the casualty and other family members were the collateral damage of that war.

(Don’t get me wrong, I am not perfect, neither is my family, whose is?)

Part of the resolution of the problem was that time was running out for the parents in that they both enjoyed free legal help under the then legal aid system, and so the court room became  their battle ground or playground depending on your point of view. The justice review and legal aid reform put paid to that!

The point is, when you are the parents of the child, you should be teaching conflict resolution, not using weapons of mass destruction against each other, you should want to Co- parent your child to the best of your abilities, to give your child the best of all possible starts, you have already stalled the growth tank by separating and therefore left the child wondering what they did wrong?

Ask a friend whose parents split up when they were young, how they felt growing up as a child in the middle of conflict, you will get some very differing answers, from :

  • “it was great I could play one-off against the other”
  • ” I always got what I wanted”
  • ” it was just very sad, mum/dad  cried a lot”
  • “they were both just so angry all the time

I would be a liar if I told you I never argued with my ex, we argued a lot, that’s why we separated, we still argued occasionally after we split but we were never vindictive or spiteful or hateful and we enjoyed some fabulous family occasions and always spent Christmases together, we did it because we loved and still love our children, I am so glad we did! Particularly given that he died so suddenly, and without warning.

None of us can predict the future we can only learn from the past, If you are a parent reading this think of the child first and then think of the person you once loved enough to create that child, don’t let your child become a casualty of your war, spare a thought for the grandparents and other family members do you really want to be responsible for all that collateral damage?

I believe in equal rights for all, particularly the family as a whole, no parent is more deserving than another! Children need both parents, and both sides of their family to grow and develop into happy healthy people!

Please sign the petition so that children may enjoy both parents and their families.

http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/59827

If you need any help with conflict resolution get in touch.